How to dress at Iranian weddings

Summer is the most popular season for weddings, and Iranian weddings are no exception to this rule. But I must say every year I am extremely disappointed with the boring “Little Black Dress” uniforms worn by 99% of the wedding guests. I like Audrey Hepburn just as much as the next person but frankly, all that black at a wedding makes one think of a funeral, no?

On the other hand of the spectrum, I see some catastrophic attempts (usually by older ladies) to go for color but they end up looking like a scary prom queen in some big puffy fluffy concoction that looks more appropriate for the circus.

Here are some tips I think would immensely improve the scenery in your wedding album.

For young girls, it is a shame to wear too much black. You are fresh, beautiful and modern, and your clothes should express that. The colors of your clothes also reflect the joyous occasion which symbolizes love and happiness: Tomato red, hot pink, royal blue for the boldest girls who can carry it off; Lavender, baby pink, sky blue for those who are more shy. These colors, that can come in every pattern imaginable, will make you look like the flowers that you are and also surround the bride with colors that reflect the positive feelings and wishes directed at her. This summer, the trend is back to feminine floral dresses made with light fabrics such as chiffon. Try to keep the design of your dress simple if you are going for patterns. If you opt for simple or pastel colors, you can add some subtle ruffles at the bottom or a heart shaped cleavage to make the dress sexy and dressy. Please don’t try to look like you are older than you are. A huge beehive a la Marge Simpson does not become a young woman, and neither do elaborate pearls or chunky jewelry. Your best ornament is your youth. Let it shine through. I want to be able to see you, don’t hide behind a wall of make-up.

For the older ladies, you don’t have to stick to black either. At least, mix it up with a different color. An evening gown of black and white is a classic look that never goes out of style. For the sexy beast in you, mix black and red, it will add a dramatic effect. Sophistication and elegance are your most effective weapons. Don’t go for just any trends, there is nothing sadder than a forty year old woman wearing glitter all over her body and Pokamon Picachu barrettes in her hair. By this time, you know your body shape and the most flattering styles that enhance your qualities and hide your flaws. Don’t listen to what the saleslady says but instead take a trusted friend or relative with you who will be honest. Just because you are older does not mean you have to be dowdy.

Also as a tip for non-Iranians invited to an Iranian wedding, do not fret! You will not be expected to stick out your belly button or perform the dance of the seven veils. Like Christian or Jewish weddings, Iranian Moslem weddings are usually divided in two parts: The religious ceremony or “aghd”, which takes place earlier in the day. And the reception that follows in the evening. The dress code for the aghd is usually cocktail dresses or two piece-suits. For the evening, the women for the most part change into an evening gown. How dressy it will be usually depends on the location of the wedding. If it is at a private home, it may be more relaxed. If it is at the Dorothy Chandler Pavillion, you may want to up the glam factor. But I don’t think you ever have to worry about dressing up too much. Iranian women do not believe in the “less is more” motto. Weddings are an occasion to show off your latest designer gown, your neck and arms draped in scintillating jewelry that would be appropriate only at a coronation, and the hair piled up high, as if to be closer to heaven.

Good luck! I hope I will be seeing you looking your best at the next Iranian wedding!

DEAR AZITA: I began working as a salesman when I was still in the last year of college. In those days I was selling vacuum cleaners door to door and I did so well that soon I was made the manager of one of the sales teams and started making real good money. The commissions were so high that I decided to leave college for a while and ride the waive of success.

Well, a couple of years later, the company went bankrupt and I felt like I was left holding the bag, because I had already left school and felt awkward about going back. A series of sales jobs followed and now I sell advertising. Every new job brings with it a lot of cold calling and rejection and it is beginning to drive me crazy. Nowadays when I am supposed to go on a sales call, I break out in a cold sweat and hate doing what I am doing. I think I need a break from my career in sales but feel that I don’t have the guts for a change specially since I am now married and feel responsible for my wife’s life. What should I do?

AZITA SAYS: First of all I think if you look around you realize that this life is not a warm up session for another life. In other words every day that you waste doing something you hate is a day that you will not get back. Do what you enjoy.
Also, I wonder why you have been changing sales jobs? Your employers cannot be all going belly up, may be you dislike your work so much that it translates itself into poor performance. Especially if you are finding rejection tough to stomach you ought to change the type of work you do. Saying you hate rejection when you are a salesperson, is like saying you hate sitting on your ass when you are a truck driver. Don’t you think rejection is a part of every sales job? Talk to your wife and tell her how you feel. I am sure she will be glad to carry a little bit more of the load while you are re-tooling. Do only what you enjoy and you will see results all around your life.

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